Tim Allen on Women, Friends & Shoes

Women collect friends like they collect shoes. And like shoes, they never get rid of them.

- Last Man Standing on 1-17-12

- Episode 15: Odd Couple Out

Two and a Half Men on Having a Hoochie

Having a hoochie is like owning a classic car -- a lot of maintenance and once a month, you’re gotta put down an oil pan.


2 and a ½ Men
Tinkle Like a Princess
3-1-10

Cougar Town on What Women Want

Grayson: How can I still not understand what women want?

Jules: Women just want a guy who respects our independence, but also wants to take care of us. We want a guy who’s secure, but also gets jealous … It sucks being a dude. Women want and everything man.

Cougar Town
Everything Man
3-31-10

Louis C. K. on the Difference between Girls and Women

To me, you’re not a woman till you’ve had a couple of kids and your life is in the toilet … when people come out of your vagina and step on your dreams … if you’re still standing after that shit, you’re a woman.

Louis C. K., Comedy Central, 10-4-08

Cougar Town on Nutty Women

Women can be nutty but it's usually a guy that gets them there. - Cougar Town, Scare Easy, 1/13/10